My New Years’ Resolution is to get a second bathroom before the next holiday season!
Sneaking in a moment for ourselves,
What could be more metaphorical
Than the overflowed tub
Or the near-severed thumb?
Bath water cascades over the rim
Blood dances onto the new parquet
To fraternize with the warm water
Oozing under the brand new floorboards.
Achilles-deep we stand in the flood
The jetsam and flotsam of our year.
Bone-weary, we don’t overreact
This shit happens, we still have our health.
All I had wanted was a moment
For Calgon to please take me away
All he’d asked was a minute to shave
Before the next bathroom squatter.